They Got ADHD All Wrong — And I Can Prove It

Let’s talk about ADHD — or, more specifically, how, for decades, people have gotten it all wrong. If you picture someone with ADHD, odds are you’re imagining a restless student fidgeting at their desk, getting scolded by teachers for not paying attention. But that’s just one tiny image, a misleading snapshot that underestimates what’s really going on. The reality? ADHD is not about laziness, or a lack of discipline, or “outgrowing it.” And I can prove it.

First, let's trace where the misunderstanding started. Back in the 1980s and 90s, ADHD was widely seen as a “kid’s problem” — mostly boys, bouncing off classroom walls, unable to focus. But as those kids grew up, many didn’t simply “grow out of it.” Instead, they navigated adulthood with sleepless minds, unfinished projects, and, all too often, a heavy dose of self-blame.

Here’s the thing: ADHD isn’t about having too much energy or too little motivation. It’s a fundamental difference in how the brain regulates attention, impulses, and even emotions. Functional MRI scans show that people with ADHD actually have different activity in critical brain circuits — especially those handling reward, planning, and self-control.

But if that’s the case, why do so many people still treat ADHD like it’s a behavioral issue? It comes down to myths. One is that ADHD only looks like hyperactivity. But for many, the main struggle is with inattention — losing track of conversations, missing deadlines, forgetting where you put your keys. Plenty of people with ADHD are quiet, daydreamy, or get labeled as “spacey.” In fact, studies show that women and nonbinary people, and people of color, are disproportionately misdiagnosed or overlooked because they don’t fit the typical “hyperactive boy” stereotype.

And here’s an even bigger misconception: that ADHD is about willpower. You’ve probably heard, “Just try harder,” or, “You just need to focus.” But those phrases miss the point entirely. ADHD brains aren’t lacking in desire — they struggle with how to harness attention, how to filter distractions, and how to keep on track even when tasks are boring or repetitive. It’s neurological, not moral.

Let’s bust one more myth: that ADHD means you can’t focus on anything. Ask people with ADHD what happens when they find something genuinely interesting, and you’ll hear about “hyperfocus” — hours lost in a creative project, or intense concentration on a video game, sometimes at the expense of anything else. The problem is regulating attention, not having too little.

The real problem is stigma. Misunderstanding leads to shame, missed diagnoses, and people not getting support they need. But modern science is clear: ADHD is real, complex, and far beyond the tired stereotypes. It’s time we finally get this right.